I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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