i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
