Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
