he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
then he tried to convert me to islam
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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