I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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