she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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