He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
