I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
