on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
