Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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