please come you make the beer taste better
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
