Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
