guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
