Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
