ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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