Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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