I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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