Non-Jews are for practice
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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