I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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