My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
