just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
