Quick, to the slutcave!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
