The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
