I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
