Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
