Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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