'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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