Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
