I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
