you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
