so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just had sex on a roof
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
