I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
