The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
