I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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