I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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