I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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