@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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