and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
