Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
