Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
