your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
