Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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