I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
