Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
