I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
