My sheets look like a crime scene.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
