Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
