We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
