Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
