this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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