problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
