you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
