His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
